MAT FREEMAN

Our Next Performer

The drunker I get,
the more I forget
the best thing around
is the feel of the ground.

It’s cool on my face.

Mexico Denies Responsibility for Prototype Spy’s Downward Spiral into Addiction and Comedy

Mexico Denies Responsibility for My Failures

Growing up in the mountains of southern Mexico, my main interests were avoiding homework, actin’ a fool, and stayin’ alive. Still actin’ a fool, failed 2nd grade, and I’m still alive — mostly. A toe will die sometimes, but then I can feel it again. Not sure what that’s about.  

At around 8 years old, they catapulted me to upstate New York (maybe there was a plane involved). That’s nearly Canada, from the equator. Take that, elementary school!

Sober Tendencies

Sobriety is a mother of a drug,
sitting alone and hoping there’ll soon be someone to hug.
A kiss would be nice,
but I’ll piss on some ice for that frost-brewed taste in a mug.

Taste Relief

Oh,
times can be tough.
They can.

And times can be rough
on your hands
and knees.

That’s because times like these
rewind and repeat…

Ridiculous Podcast and Game Show History

A Ridiculous Podcast History

Before I ever listened to one, I needed a podcast. After all, I’m a white male in America, and — AND —  I fancy myself a “comedian”.

I was the Office Manager at a comedy club, so it only made sense to interview comedians. Some were dope fuckers like Gilbert Gottfried, Lynne Koplitz, and Jamie Kennedy. Most others were dope fuckers whose names are less known, but their acts are no less dope.

Fuckin' Tired

Fuckin’ Tired

The title of this post is Fuckin’ Tired because I’m well-rested and wide awake. Was that convincing? Noooooooooooooooo…….

Apologies. Passed out on the keyboard.

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